June 20, 2010

The Lady Behind The Mask

Girl crying who just came out of her mother's womb. The kid said,"Mum, I'm here. Aren't you happy? Why are you so worried?" The girl started questioning.. Mother silently kept her aside and started wearing her Burkha as her family members came in to see their new 'victim'. Kid yelled,"Mum,please remove that mask from your face. I want to see you. I want to feel your kiss on my cheeks with your naked lips. I want to touch your naked face. Please come out of the mask mum..your girl wants to feel your warm embrace". The mother smiled at her and said,"Child, welcome to your new world,full of cruelty,misery. There's no more peace for you here. Sorry,I brought you into this world. This cruel world who gives no respect to a girl child. I'm sorry.." And,mother started crying silently. Wiping her tears,the girl said,"Why are you feeling guilty about it mum? Don't worry,I have the courage to fight with this world,full of misery. I promise,I'll make you feel proud about me". Mother smiled,took her close and kissed her.
Mother knew,no matter how much courage we show,we have to be slaves. Slaves of our family. We have to hide behind the mask and along with our face,we also have to hide our voices,feelings,smile,love,hatred..everything.. 
And after few years,the girl went through the same situations. She had to go behind the mask..
.....Read this story in the eyes of an Islamic Lady sitting in front of me with her girl in a train. It was the world which I saw behind her mask. It was a world which everyone knew,but none could help it. 
Why a girl? Girl,because she's physically weak? Because she keeps her mouth shut? Because she's ready to serve you as you want? Disgusting!

June 19, 2010


Don't know exactly,what made me write this post. It was flooding in of some memories and also it's just a feeling from inside who's making me write it.
Schooling in my favourite school, I just loved the way I lived my life. I loved the people around me. I loved the way,they loved me! Can't forget those days.. One thing was common always,love. Love for me, of friends, of parents, family and of the guys who used to fancy me. Yes,even them. And some of them,like me still. Love me still. I just feel bad when I think about it. I know,it isn't possible for me to be with everyone of them but I just...just...feel guilty,bad,disgusted sometimes. How did I be so bad to them? Even they, who are true, deserve love, heaven. But how can anyone love someone so deeply? This is the question, for which I'm never answered.. In fact, no one can answer what is that 'true love'? After years, I respect their feelings and will always do. 'Cause reality, I too know what is loving someone so seriously, what is craving for someone, what is 'ready to die' for someone..
Sometimes, I realize, I have left many people hurt and I really want to apologize but it's too late, I think. But better late than never. I apologize and they forgive. But the thought still sticks in my mind..
At times,when I think about such things, I text him. He answers every query of mine. I dunno, how he does. I don't care how silly I be while asking them, 'cause even he answers those silly questions :). Hope to be the same. Wish to be the same. Hope that I'd never face the situations I mentioned before.. I wish,everything remains the same. I, him, love and it's immortality..

June 15, 2010

When It Came To Adolescence..

Feeling of Heaven is defined as love or Love is defined as feeling of Heaven ? No one,who exists knows the correct definition of it. They say Adolescence is a period when we fall in love but that love isn't love, it's just attraction. What does it really mean? Don't the Adolescents have feelings? Aren't they big enough to know what exactly is it? I've gone through the similar period and I'm a teenager yet.

He shifted in my building only half a year after I did. Gradually, friendship. Close friendship. And after that, the thing which most of the teenagers experience nowadays, “Love”. Innocent love. But was true enough to prove it right. We enjoyed together. As friends and as lovers. A year after he thought about an ‘awesome idea’(according to him) about going to a boarding school. The things were bound to change after that but we decided to stay in the same way but it was difficult, for me at least. That year, I cried for him. Craved to meet him every passing day.. But it wasn’t really possible. And after that, the worst thing which has ever happened in my life, I shifted to another city. Full of strangers but I had no excitement about it as I’m a Xenophobian. Our Lives became more complicated. We had to struggle, at least I had to. When I was about to cross my first Milestone, I broke up with him. It had no reason according to him, but I was frustrated by living such a life. But, I couldn’t live without it and patched it up after some days. To my bad, he wasn’t ready for it. And he broke up again. May be he wanted to take a revenge. But why did he say that he was pretending his love since so many years?! I cried that night but I never felt lonely as my cutest pals were there for me to console.. It had come to an end. I never thought that I’d ever commit a relationship again..

But, I did..The very next day. Yeah, I know it was a stupidity but I don’t know what lead me to get a nod on his proposal. He loved me from his heart and he still does, yes still! But the problem here was, I didn’t love him. I broke up again by saying that I am not comfortable with it.
Next day after my second break off, I committed a relation again. The person who’ll read this may think that I’m a jerk. And I am. There’s nothing incorrect. Talking about my third relation, he was my good friend till then but we decided to break up on the second day itself. He wasn’t serious, I knew that and even I was ‘just’ attracted.. For months, I enjoyed being single. But, a person who can never erase his presence from my heart,my friend, my companion, I fell for him. Was deeply in love with him. Didn’t confess till he made me to do it. And, lucky me! Even he felt the same for me. Yes, he did. I was the happiest person on this Earth and after 7 months 14 days, still I am the happiest. And I wish, I’ll remain always.. He makes me FEEL love. When he’s with me, the world seems cheerful. Cheering for me. But when he isn’t, the world seems empty.. I miss him every passing day.. He stays far away.. He belongs to me.. I love him.. I miss him..:)